Standing Naked

Over the past couple of years, I’ve spent time unravelling the old me and it’s been both f#cken brilliant and scary. What I know to be true is that one of the things that makes me so compelling are those moments when I won’t follow the status quo or do what I feel is expected of me or of a situation – and I jump in with both feet and rock it from my heart.

I did that recently. And my heart is feeling stuck in my throat.

I was invited to meet with some business leaders in an organization to discuss joining energies, to help facilitate some of their leadership programs for major organizations across the country.  It was an audition of sorts. Being asked to present a topic of my choosing, I opted to create a memorable experience instead – for them, but more importantly, for me.

I walked in without a laptop, paper, or handouts. I simply showed up knowing who I am, what my dreams are and how I envision the world I want to be a part of.


How many ‘interviews’ do you go on and have the whole panel join you at the front of the room and fully participate in an exercise by your design?

That’s what I created and it was powerful.

In fact, a few of the panellists commented in the time we were together about my unorthodox approach and the risk I took taking it, commending me on the impact it had.

But it’s not a risk for me really, because I do that a lot – I just don’t often let others see it.  I don’t tend to share my spirit with people I’ve just met out of fear that it’ll scare the shit out of them. It has in the past. I know, because I still feel the bite marks.

But that was before.

That was before I realized the power my presence has, how it can impact and create change. I’m still learning. I’m still unravelling who I was so that I can truly believe in who I’m becoming.

So now, I’m upping my value of risk taking by allowing others to feel it and witness it. Hence this post and sharing what I’m experiencing.

I’m sitting at home glued to every ping, ding, and ring my laptop, text message, or phone makes. I’m looking for validation from this group that the approach I took was worth the risk. That showing what was in my heart is what they wanted and what they might need.  I have yet to hear anything.

And yet, reflecting on the time I spent with them, I know I wouldn’t change my approach if I had another chance. I love myself more for stepping into who I know I am.